God Bless

Taking a hiatus from blogging until SPM is over. I wish everyone all the best and God bless. xD

God places the heaviest burden on those who can carry its weight.”-Reggie White

Morning, Everyone

Hey everyone, it's a nice morning isn't it? I wish well to anyone reading this post. Forgive me if I rattle on and on about the same thing, but I just wanted to share something here. I'm pretty sure that most of you who know me well would know that I have begun driving my mom's car around with my new P license *yes! . Oh well, I kinda realise how easy it is to drive an auto car as compared to a manual one, but that's not the only thing, the auto car I am driving incidentally has got fantastic pick-up and power to overtake other cars(especially Kancils, man). With speed and easy control, it seems driving is quite easy for me isn't it? I concur. However, as luck had it this morning, I was driving back home from work free and easy as you please. With Kings of Leon playing on Fly fm, I was enjoying my drive back. I was alone if you should know. To cut it short, I was driving along a straight road with only 2 lanes. There was a lorry and a green viva on my right.

I took a quick look at my mirrors only to see a wira trailing really closely to me from behind for some reason, maybe he was in rush or he liked the smell of my butt, I'm not sure. The lorry was moving quite slowly and the green viva was following suit rather slowly. I expected the viva to overtake the lorry soon, so I started to accelerate to beat both vehicles on my right. The road was long enough to allow enough time for the viva to overtake the lorry after I shoot past. When you drive, you must be able to judge and predict within milliseconds what other drivers will do and take the safest course of action. WHAT I didn't expect was when I was shooting ahead, the viva swerved suddenly without any signal or warning into my lane. The problem was, I was still moving forward. I slammed my brakes and the car jerked forward due to the sudden halt in momentum. Oh my God, I thought, suddenly all the images and videos of car crashes flooded my mind. The horrible stench of blood, wailing family members, decapitated corpses, fire and mobs started to flash in front of my eyes. I was terrified, I opened my eyes only to see that I am barely an inch from the viva. The Viva driver obviously in a state of panic drove off leaving me in a daze in the car. Fortunately, the wira behind me managed to break in time before touching my back. He was honking his car. I was in a state of shock. I caught a glimpse of a little girl seated in the front of the viva where I would have slammed into had I not been fast enough.

That was the first incident, the second incident was 10 minutes later near my housing area. I was about to turn into my road. It was a blind corner where a car can just come out without any warning, as usual I braked and slowed just to check. True enough, a blue wira came out shooting to turn into the main road, WHAT I didn't expect was a motorcycle on my right scooting fast to turn into the road. I don't know what prevented me from swerving to my right to avoid the wira but I braked instead, sparing both road users. The Malay man riding motorcycle just shot past like that. Again for the second time, I was unnerved. Here I am, half an hour from that incident blogging about it. Yes, sitting in front of the computer facebooking and blogging while listening to music is nice isn't it? Sitting down while doing homework and studying sejarah is much better than killing people on the road isn't it? The two small incidents made me think a bit. What if I had not made an effort to learn to how to drive properly? What if I had not listened to my father to use only one leg to control the pedals? What if I had not listened to my driving instructor to always observe the mirrors? What if I had not made an effort to learn up tips on how to drive online? What if I had not learned how to control the speed of the car from those videos? What if I had been an impatient driver and shoot ahead instead of stopping to be safe? What if I decided to not follow the two-second rule which I have memorised from day one? What if I had not been observing how teachers turn their wheels when they drive in and out of school? Most importantly, what if I am not a defensive driver?

I was too close from taking the life an entire family and a breadwinner today. The image of the little girl in the Viva, plastering her head against the window to see me driving is still haunting me. The Malay man I nearly hit if not for God's grace still wonders in the vaults of my mind. What if? What could have? I am still shaking from just now. I could have lost everything in a moment, not even a second. I could have lost my driving license and be charged in court for reckless driving. I could have been a murderer. I could have transgressed one of the strictest 10 commandments, "You shall not murder". All four main religions in the world condemn taking another life and have placed an eternity of suffering in punishment if you did. I was too close from losing God today. I was too close from having the doors of the kingdom of heaven shutting against me. I was too close from having Jesus ask me in the day of judgement why I chose to take that woman and her daughter's life. What if that woman grieved for her child like below?

That little girl not older than five could have lost in all because of my poor judgement. That family will never be the same again. Grieving for the loss of a young child will never heal. The pain and grief is maddening I tell you. The viva could have even flipped over and the mother could have snapped her neck as well, if I had chose to speed even further. That girl would have been denied one of the few things that makes us human : the love of a mother. I don't blame the mother for swerving without any warning. I don't blame the wira behind me for trailing so closely. I somehow know that I can't blame myself too much either, but I have accepted it as my fault as I should have anticipated such drivers. I accept that there is nothing I can do now but only be a better driver but still, I feel very guilty. I should have not panicked, but looked at mirrow instead before deciding what to do. I should have know that the lady driver would do such a thing. I wouldn't be able to forgive myself if anything happened to the Malay man or the mother & daughter. Everything would never be the same again. I would be a juvenile, I wouldn't be able to sit for my SPM with you guys if that happened, the father of the family would never be able to come to terms with what I did.

What if that Malay man became like this? He'll never be able to support his family. And their futures would have been cut off because of me.

It frightens me to think of how I'll never be the same again. I 'll lose everyone. That look : Oh, that's Daryl, the guy who killed an innocent family on the road. I'll be used as a an example for many students who drive. My teachers will never have the same respect of opinion of me ever again. Pn Sally, Pn Cecilia, Pn Sharon, Pn Tan CK, PL, HK, Pn Mag, Pn Mary-Anne, Pn Daljit, Pn Leong, Shymala etc. I will not be able to enter UWC due to my criminal record. I would have extreme difficulties entering good universities because of this incident. I would have lost everything. Everything. All of my friends will never look at me the same way again. Either with sympathy or disgust, that's the way it's going to be. I would have lost everything I worked so hard for. May it be the debate team, the CF, the Pencegah jenayah, my classmates, my good rapport among the teachers, the respect from my peers. Friends, family and associates, all gone in a blink of an eye.

Pn Mag

The entire debate team, seniors and juniors alike, Pn Koh especially:

CF people

friends

Classmates

The people that made my life worth living:

At least now I know that the real driving test was not the one I sat for in Cheras, but the daily drives I take on the road. The real one is when I don't go around killing people or maiming them on the road. That's the real one people. When you're free of any guilt and conscience in the next 60 years, you have passed the test. As I sat down looking at my blog, I looked at the verse and the Virgin Mary, I couldn't help but wonder, I could have lost everything today. I wouldn't be able to pray as I used to, I wouldn't be able to lift up my Bible anymore with blood-soaked hands. I wouldn't be that nerdy, smart debater anymore. I wouldn't be Daryl anymore. I've always had a habit of praying for a safe journey before touching the pedals in the car and it seems, God answered today. Now, I can't stop thanking enough. I'm glad there's someone out there. I'm so thankful.

For we walk by faith, not by sight -Corinthians 5:7

Hold On, Hold Tight

=)

Smile

I'm going for it. Smiles*

Thanks

Once upon a time, there was an island where all the feelings lived: Happiness, Sadness, Knowledge, and all of the others, including Love. One day it was announced to the feelings that the island would sink, so all constructed boats and left. Except for Love.Love was the only one who stayed. Love wanted to hold out until the last possible moment.When the island had almost sunk, Love decided to ask for help.Richness was passing by Love in a grand boat. Love said, "Richness, can you take me with you?"Richness answered, "No, I can't. There is a lot of gold and silver in my boat. There is no place here for you."Love decided to ask Vanity who was also passing by in a beautiful vessel. "Vanity, please help me!""I can't help you, Love. You are all wet and might damage my boat," Vanity answered.Sadness was close by so Love asked, "Sadness, let me go with you.""Oh . . . Love, I am so sad that I need to be by myself!"Happiness passed by Love, too, but she was so happy that she did not even hear when Love called her. Suddenly, there was a voice, "Come, Love, I will take you." It was an elder. So blessed and overjoyed, Love even forgot to ask the elder where they were going. When they arrived at dry land, the elder went her own way. Realizing how much was owed the elder, Love asked Knowledge, another elder, "Who Helped me?""It was Time," Knowledge answered."Time?" asked Love. "But why did Time help me?"Knowledge smiled with deep wisdom and answered, "Because only Time is capable of understanding how valuable Love is."

Thanks

Sunday

Today is Sunday, tomorrow a Monday. I feel somewhat amused when I fetched my mother from work yesterday and driving to Ritz just now. It makes me feel kinda open. The open feeling when you realise that life is going to change and is moving at a fantastic speed, the problem is you only know when to brake when its too late. Oh man, I'm driving. lol

Confession

I've always wanted to be able to do art but oh well.

Some things are like roses, it smells good. It looks good. It may impress others but to some, its thorns are pricking the finger from time to time. May it be people, work or the self, there are a few out there who prefer to let it go. To drop a rose and take another is seen as strange in some people's eyes but to some not at all. I don't believe in bleeding from the rose, but others dont notice. They barely even feel the thorns and they say its fine. Life isn't a bed of roses they say. But what makes you think letting the rose go is any easier? What makes you think so? Why you? Answer me. Why you?

It's alright. Theres nothing to forgive. Still there for you.

When The Going Gets

Extradiciously enjoying the holidays. It's surprising isn't it how time passes by so quickly. Before I know it, I would probably be sitting for my SPM already. Years from now, I would be musing to myself as I read this post, laughing myself silly perhaps. Would I even know what comes by before me? I wonder too when my turn would be to be the one waving to family and friends at the airport, shedding tears of grief due to separation but in secret joy that I can at last raise my wings to fly. When the sentimental song plays itself and the shrill note of sorrow pierces mine heart, never to leave its spot with me bearing the knifing pain, would it matter? Will I matter? So, who are you? It doesn't matter, words cannot be used to describe who what more me. Till then, I cannot be.

I aint scared of lightning

Come on and do your worst

If they gave degrees

For cheating destiny

Then man I got a first

No I aint scared of lightning

It's the same old empty threat

I've been standing proud

Beneath the gathering cloud

And man I ain't dead yet

No I ain't scared of lightning

And thunder never killed

I was born in a summer storm

I live there still

Yeah I was born in a summer storm

I live there still.- Tim Mc Rae

Never give up on something that you can't go a day without thinking about. - Unknown. I'm holding on. So hold on with me too.

Each morning when I open my eyes I say to myself: I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be. Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn't arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I'm going to be happy in it. Cheers.

A man went to a barbershop to have his hair cut and his beard trimmed. As the barber began to work, they began to have a good conversation. They talked about so many things and various subjects.

When they eventually touched on the subject of God, the barber said: "I don't believe that God exists." "Why do you say that?" asked the customer. "Well, you just have to go out in the street to realize that God doesn't exist. Tell me, if God exists, would there be so many sick people? Would there be abandoned children? If God existed, there would be neither suffering nor pain. I can't imagine a loving God who would allow all of these things."

The customer thought for a moment, but didn't respond because he didn't want to start an argument. The barber finished his job and the customer left the shop. Just after he left the barbershop, he saw a man in the street with long, stringy, dirty hair and an untrimmed beard. He looked dirty and un-kept. The customer turned back and entered the barber shop again and he said to the barber:

"You know what? Barbers do not exist." "How can you say that?" asked the surprised barber. "I am here, and I am a barber. And I just worked on you!" "No!" the customer exclaimed. "Barbers don't exist because if they did, there would be no people with dirty long hair and untrimmed beards, like that man outside."

"Ah, but barbers DO exist! What happens is, people do not come to me." "Exactly!"- affirmed the customer. "That's the point! God, too, DOES exist! What happens, is, people don't go to Him and do not look for Him. That's why there's so much pain and suffering in the world."

THE INTERVIEW WITH GOD

I dreamed I had an interview with God. “So you would like to interview me?” God asked.“If you have the time” I said.

God smiled. “My time is eternity.”

“What questions do you have in mind for me?”

“What surprises you most about humankind?”

God answered...“That they get bored with childhood,they rush to grow up, and then long to be children again.”“That they lose their health to make money...and then lose their money to restore their health.”“That by thinking anxiously about the future, they forget the present, such that they live in neither the present nor the future.”"That they live as if they will never die, and die as though they had never lived.”

God’s hand took mine and we were silent for a while.

And then I asked...“As a parent, what are some of life’s lessons you want your children to learn?”

“To learn they cannot make anyone love them. All they can do is let themselves be loved.”

“To learn that it is not good to compare themselves to others.”

“To learn to forgive by practicing forgiveness.”

“To learn that it only takes a few seconds to open profound wounds in those they love, and it can take many years to heal them.”

“To learn that a rich person is not one who has the most,but is one who needs the least.”

“To learn that there are people who love them dearly, but simply have not yet learned how to express or show their feelings.”

“To learn that two people can look at the same thing and see it differently.”

“To learn that it is not enough that they forgive one another, but they must also forgive themselves.”

"Thank you for your time," I said humbly. "Is there anything else you would like your children to know?"

God smiled and said, “Just know that I am here... always.”

Thanks for everything.